I spend a fair amount of time approaching, halting at, and driving through four-way stops in my average day. I regularly end up in situations where other drivers proceed through the intersection when they didn’t technically have the right of way (RoW), usually due to the fact that they didn’t come to a complete stop.

More curious, though, is when a driver at a four-way stop have the RoW (because they get there and stop first or stop simultaneously with another driver and are situated at the right), but motion another driver (who doesn’t have the RoW) through the intersection.

I’m not talking about situations where a photo finish would be necessary to determine which car jockey go to the line first; I’m talking about situations where it’s clear.

Usually, because perhaps I’m trying to part of the solution to increase order in the universe, if I’m in the situation where the driver with the RoW motions me to go through first, I’ll motion back and encourage that person–with the RoW–to go. My thinking is that while that person may think he or she is being polite by giving up the RoW, it’s best for everyone’s safety and timely arrivals (and in my case, sanity) that the rules of the road be followed. Principle matters.

Things get really curious, though, when (after I motion back to the driver w/the RoW to go–and sometimes it takes a few motionings back and forth) the driver w/the RoW gets upset that I didn’t go when he or she beckoned me go and then gives me a dirty look.

That actually happened to me today. This kid in a white sedan got nearly outright roadrageous! What’s that about? Did he feel that I was being thankless for not taking his “gift”? I was so taken aback, I shouted “You were there first; you had the right of way!” as I rolled through the intersection after he appropriately had gone through. My windows were up, though. And so were his.

In related news, I found the answer (or at least something on the Internet by someone who has the same view on it as I do) regarding what happens at a four-way stop when two opposing drivers stop at the same time, but one of the drivers is turning left. Naturally, the whole “person to the right goes first” bit doesn’t work when the drivers are opposite each other, so the regular rules of the road apply: the person who is going straight goes before the driver turning left. At an intersection with traffic lights (or, as some of my classmates in high school in central Wisconsin called them, “stop-and-go lights”), when you’re turning left and have a green light (not a protected left turn green) you have to yield to any drivers going straight through the intersection.

Also, the aforementioned post cites one Lionel E. Deimel who posits that four-way stop signs should include a diagram on them listing which driver has the RoW in the event of “ties”. I personally think that that might complicate things for, shall we say, “less principled” drivers who already have a difficult time with the basic tenets of the right of way system. Also, it’d probably use more resources (environmental and financial) to add those to signs.

Thankfully, I haven’t seen any four-way stop situations ending in accidents or fisticuffs (not denying the existence of such). I’m grateful that even when we mess up the rules of RoW, people are able to make it all work.